How far can someone go, just to keep a secret? Is it the right thing to do even if it is affecting someone else’s life because the secret is buried? The most important question is, when is the right time to reveal the secret? This question sounds like a paradox. If it does, then there’s an ethical that you have to put in front of yourself. It is an art to know and to understand when a secret is worth keeping and if it harms anyone in any way. Not every secret is the same, not everyone keeping the secret is the same, and art is subjective. You don’t want to let them down, and you want them to know that their trust in you will not be broken.Īfter all this you may wonder, is secret-keeping really an art? I believe it is. Where does this pressure come from? One reason is quite obvious, “Promise me you won’t tell anyone!” Anyone? What if it slips out in a conversation? Are best friends excluded from this condition? How long does it have to be a secret? Another possible reason for the pressure may be over the fact that someone has trusted you enough to tell you something they can’t tell anybody else. On the other hand, some people really struggle with the pressure. If people can do that, then they’re probably masters of secret-keeping. Some people may not have any issue with keeping a secret, perhaps they forget about it after a while, or the pressure of keeping it a secret just doesn’t bother them. Not everybody can find a person like that in their life, and hence, living with secrets becomes tougher, the longer you have to keep them buried.Ĭoming back to the point of transferring anxiety, this may not be something everyone experiences. Studies have shown that people are more likely to reveal secrets to people who are more caring, empathic and assertive in social situations. To a certain extent, having someone safe enough that you can trust with new or buried secrets is a privilege that not everyone is exposed to. Now, the person who has to keep this secret is under a lot of pressure, considering they have a certain piece of information that they cannot tell anybody. This process is essentially a transfer of anxiety the person with the secret needs someone to share it with, because they can’t keep it to themselves and perhaps it is eating away at them. There’s one person whose secret it is, and the other who hs to keep it a secret. Whether that works in our favor or not, is not in our control sometimes. It is risky to keep a secret, but sometimes we believe that it is riskier to disclose the truth, and hence to avoid the painful experience of disclosing, we decide to keep a secret. The first question to ask is, why do we keep secrets? I believe that having secrets or keeping secrets is human nature.
The point is, that the initiation of secret-keeping is always pure and harmless but as you grow older, lives change, and sometimes, secrets become more serious too. They may start out to be innocent, small little secrets, like your friend telling you they had two chocolates instead of one, or your mom telling you to not tell your dad about the surprise birthday party everyone is planning for him. The art of secret-keeping is something that humans learn from a very young age.
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